Sometimes I sit here in the dark With just the light of the screen Maybe I don’t get dressed Have a little more caffeine Sometimes I stay up late Time goes by I say what’s on my mind And I hope for a reply I never stay away long I start missing all my friends I post my photographs I use my very best lens Sometimes the comments never come Sometimes I sit and I wait Won’t you please like me? Is there someone who can relate? Nobody ever writes me letters I don’t know why I have a phone I have a couple thousand friends now So I don’t feel so alone Sometimes I drop them a line Sometimes they think of me too They want to know if I’m ok In just a sentence or two I know who cooked Italian And I know who got new shoes I know who had to pull a tranny And who’s away on a cruise I know who got that dreaded letter I know who just switched shampoos I know who’s using smiley faces And I know who’s got the blues I know who likes what I know who’s friends with who I know what everybody just did And what they’re planning to do I know who’s having a birthday And who just lost their job I know it rained in Sarasota For a little while then it stopped I’ve found a lot of old classmates People I once knew Everybody went their own ways As people these days will do Some of them got wealthy Some are living hand to mouth Some are living up north still Some have settled in the south All of my old flames got married Some they got divorced And of the ones who’ve fallen Some never got back on a horse The ones who did have children None of them look like me I hope that everybody’s happy I hope that everybody’s free I know who likes what I know who’s friends with who I know what everybody just did And what they’re planning to do I know who just lost their father And who’s decided to adopt I know it rained in Sarasota For a little while then it stopped Prayers for my friends in Uganda My friends in Israel and Iran Nova Scotia, Ireland, and Denmark Lithuania and Japan I hope someday to meet them Their place or mine For now it makes me happy When I see them here on line I know who just got a puppy I know who’s rose bushes died To the ones who own ponies Sometimes I tell ‘em I can ride I’ve flirted with some women You never know, some of ‘em could’ve been men And then there was the time when Elvis Asked if he could be my friend I know who likes what I know who’s friends with who I know what everybody just did And what they’re planning to do I know who’s fighting cancer Sometimes I just start to sob I know it rains in Sarasota For a little while then it stops

I used to fall for girls who smoked And drank and told off color jokes And had that certain kind of look Just a nose ring was all it took The ones that had that certain spunk Kind of girlish, kind of punk Girls you make excuses for As you lead them out the door I used to like ‘em fancy-free The way they would pretend to be They wore all black, they had long hair They acted like they didn’t care Full of beans, a great big blur I used to fall for girls like her They couldn’t possibly all be true Five hundred words when ten would do I used to fall for girls like that Who worked the mic and played a Strat Whose stomachs were completely flat They would complain that they were fat The kind of girls I would pursue I made them up, they became true I think I married one or two They made me tea and wrote haiku I was always drawn to the manic kind       Who’d say whatever was on their minds Girls like that sunk all my ships Carelessly with their loose lips And yet for one enchanted kiss I’d betray myself for girls like this A wild eye, a star tattoo A little crazy were a few           Girls like those they have their charms Red flags and loud alarms I loved it when they were in my arms I swear my love was true Now it takes a little more To turn me on than it did before Certain things I can't ignore Certain things I do I used to fall for girls who dance In tie dye shirts and draw string pants Who bang on drums and don’t eat meat And walk around in their bare feet With girls like that it wouldn’t last Not even one half minute past The moment that the clock struck twelve   They’d leave me dancing with myself Opposites at times attract Like chemicals they can react The girls who once appealed to me Now don’t seem so real to me Who used to pluck and strum my strings And say the most preposterous things Sometimes they’d look me in the eye I used to fall for girls who lie Girls like those they have their charms Red flags and loud alarms I loved it when they were in my arms I swear my love was true Now it takes a little more To turn me on than it did before Certain things I can't ignore And certain things I do

I collected my prize I took first place The poor runner up The sad look on her face I didn't drink the champagne I left my ribbon there too Ok, so I won But what good did it do? I stood with conviction I put up a fight For the truth as I saw it For peace, love, and light I fought off the darkness For the first round or two I got my licks in What good did it do? In the end I was right Upon further review All the things I was saying Proved to be true I won an admission An apology too In the end I was right But what good did it do? Tried to live by morals I spoke my mind Some friends got offended One or two they resigned I was just being honest They already knew I just tried to remind them What good did it do? I could hold a grudge I could probably hold two And if I didn’t learn to budge I could end up holding quite a few I didn’t like being angry It’s not enough being right I’d rather be happy That’s a hard enough fight I’d rather be happy With all of my might Than to sit here and stew What good would it do? Sit here and stew What good would it do? I’d rather be happy Happy with you

I'll write 33 verses For one pair of shoes To travel the countryside Spreading the news To wander Roscarberry And all of west Cork While some head to Boston And others New York I lived in the poorhouse I slept on the floor There was room to sit down And not an inch more The people who died Were carried away Without ceremony And without delay Death by starvation Was sweeping the land On my little shoulder It lay its cold hand Me mother she begged for A coffin for me They all thought I’d died When I was only three "I roam all the world Admire each scene And a tax on the ratepayers I've never been I only appeal to you Now for a pair Of brogues And I'll vanish again into air" The grave digger's shovel Plunged in the dirt Struck me so hard It must to have hurt Though some say I moaned And some say I screamed All agreed that I wasn’t As dead as I seemed Not so many people Get lowered down twice I don't recommend it Just once should suffice I'm the boy who was buried And dug up alive The poet, the genius The one who survived "I rose from the dead In the year '48 When a grave at the abbey Had near been my fate Since then for subsistence I've done all my best Though one shoe points eastward And the other points west" "I roam all the world Admire each scene And a tax on the ratepayers I've never been I only appeal to you Now for a pair Of brogues And I'll vanish again into air" I'll write 33 verses For one pair of shoes To travel the countryside Spreading the news To wander Roscarberry And all of west Cork While some head to Boston And others New York

I killed a man, I’ll tell you why I didn’t like his vulture’s eye Stalking me like I was prey I always had to look away I did not kill him for his gold His eye would make my blood run cold It wasn’t him that had to die It had to be his vulture’s eye The vulture’s eye would never blink To torment me sometimes it winked I felt it follow me around I faced it once, it stared me down I’m not mad, how could I be? I planned it all so perfectly It was the work of a brilliant mind That vulture’s eye I made go blind I staked him out for seven nights With a sliver from my lantern light That vulture’s eye was always closed So I waited ’til it was exposed I killed the eye, cut off its head Its arms & legs, when it was dead I stuffed it underneath the floor It can’t look at me anymore I’m not mad, it’s just the sound Of a suffocated heart that pounds Don’t you hear it pounding too? Isn’t it too loud for you? I’m not mad, how could I be? I planned it all so perfectly It was the work of a brilliant mind That vulture’s eye, I made it go blind I loved the man who had to die I really, truly loved the guy Never had a harsh word, never told a lie I just couldn’t stand that vulture’s eye The vulture’s eye was a beady little eye It was always dry, it never would cry I kind of miss the poor old guy But it had to die, and I’ve told you why I’m not mad, how could I be? I planned it all so perfectly You ask if I’m the crazy one Didn’t I do what you would’ve done?

Both the ump and the catcher Had their hands on their hips It was only a handshake It was a coming to grips The sun was casting long shadows As he touched every base When he rounded the third one The sun lit up his face It was only a handshake Well, maybe not quite It was captured on camera In black & white The two of them smiling As he touches the plate As he crosses the line When he knows that he’s safe It was only a handshake On Opening Day No one knew what would happen If the fellow could play It was only a handshake But it was the first Yes of course there were others Who stood up and cursed It was only a handshake On a minor league field And it wasn’t ’til later It became a big deal It was just something that happened It was nothing he’d planned The guy hit a homer So he stuck out his hand It was only a handshake A bond between men Teammate to teammate That’s all it was then He stood there to greet him Could’ve waited on deck It was only a handshake A sign of respect

Not many people saw it How they syphoned off the riches How they covered for each other How they scratched each other’s itches How they took all they could carry As much as they desired Not a single shot was fired They auctioned off the sunsets The beaches and the waves The mountaintops and forests What sweetheart deals they gave To themselves and all their buddies Went the jewels of the empire Not a single shot was fired They owned the tv stations The radio and print They controlled what people knew And what the people didn’t They packed the boards and ministries Turned up the amplifier And not a single shot was fired They preyed on people’s goodness Upon their trusting hearts They dismantled progress And then sold it off for parts They spoke the kind of doubletalk Goebbels would admire And not a single shot was fired They demonized whole races They made the people scared And all the while from trumpets Patriotic music blared “It could never happen here” Says the Holocaust denier Not a single shot was fired They often mention Jesus And sometimes Thomas Payne This is the Age of Treason They toast it with champagne And behind the iron curtain It’s all been secretly rewired Not a single shot was fired Cameras and checkpoints And you have to show your papers The armor and the riot gear Make robbing people safer Just who is all that ammo for? And all of that barbed wire? Not a single shot was fired Old Glory, she still flies above The courthouse and the dome The Super Bowl still happens Just like it did in Rome Their ads appear on everything Like the flags of an occupier And not a single shot was fired Not many people saw it The rest they won’t believe They look at you like you’re crazy Like it’s you who’s been deceived They’re bullying the angels For not singing with the choir Not a single shot was fired

The gardens were tended, the animals fed Even their blankets were tucked in their beds Nothing was broken, the walkways were swept Everything looked like it did when they left The government stepped down, they firmly refused To carry out the order to round up the Jews A Dane was a Dane, the law was the law There’d be no Jewish Question in Denmark at all Sweden was willing to take them all in Until it was safe to go back home again From the time word of the plan was leaked They would only have ’til the end of the week No organization or chain of command It was everybody just lending a hand Schools were closed and work shut down People were moved to little harbor towns They came for the ones who’d already gone Two passenger ships they didn’t get on After spending a week in the harbor waiting Slipped away from Copenhagen People were hidden in hospital beds With bandages over their faces and heads Some were hidden in homes and in schools In backyard sheds with the garden tools Row boats, fishing boats, dinghies, and yachts Took them the nine or ten miles across The German patrols, they hadn’t a clue Right under their noses and back again too They came for the ones who’d already gone Two passenger ships they didn’t get on After spending a week in the harbor waiting Slipped away from Copenhagen The crossings were made under cover of night Aiming for those far away lights Babies were drugged to keep them asleep Nobody spoke and nobody breathed Seven thousand Danish people were saved Thanks to their neighbors decent and brave When they got home the walkways were swept Everything looked like it did when they left They came for the ones who’d already gone Two passenger ships they didn’t get on After spending a week in the harbor waiting Slipped away from Copenhagen

Rachel's guitar was out of its case On the pulpit where cards & flowers were placed Weak and exhausted, propped on a stand Homesick and lonely for Rachel’s hands Rachel’s guitar looked around for its friend And for the songs they’ll never play again It ached for the way she would make it ring That was maybe the most heartbreaking thing Rachel's guitar looked totally lost Beyond a line that nobody crossed It’s voice was mute, it had gone numb Since the last time Rachel was able to strum Rachel’s guitar went back in its case To be laid to rest and to take up space After the friends and family left It was taken back home, where gently it wept A sweet old guitar will have many lives Now this one sleeps ‘til the next one arrives When somebody takes it out of its case And they can’t put it down for the rest of their days

You could count on Splinter Cheeks Johnson to cheer A utility player for his whole career He ate sunflower seeds & he chewed bubble gum He made sure to save all the other guys some He put his uniform on every day Sat in the dugout, and shouted hooray He would sign autographs after a game Nobody ever had heard of the name Eleven hundred plus fifty-two Consecutive games...oh the bubbles he blew! Not one single inning did he ever play He worked hard to keep himself out of the way They won a World Series & he got his ring Got sprayed with champagne it was the craziest thing He got to ride in the next day’s parade A full share of the World Series pot he was paid In case you might wonder, and most people would They kept him around because he was good He always moved over, with excellent form The spot that he vacated always was warm Splinter Cheeks one time was sent out on deck The streak on the line, his nerves were a wreck The batter ahead of him made the last out “Way to go Splinter Cheeks!” nobody shouted Splinter Cheeks Johnson was always prepared Quick to react if trouble should flare He was always willing to take one for the team From his secret stash of hemorrhoid creme But Splinter Cheeks Johnson’s body wore out It was sad to see but there was no doubt about it He would start to lose steam by the top of the fifth His eyelids got heavy and his posture would drift Splinter Cheeks Johnson was taking a nap He’d covered his eyes with the bill of his cap A murderous foul ball bounced off his head They carried him out, Splinter Cheeks he was dead The Splinter Cheeks Johnson baseball card set A nickel is probably the most you could get He had no statistics to put on the backs Not even any interesting facts You could count on Splinter Cheeks Johnson to cheer A utility player for his whole career He ate sunflower seeds & he chewed bubble gum He made sure to save all the other guys some

“That other woman” says my wife “She’s who you trust with your life You listen to her more than you do me” I said, “You just tell me where to go, But how to get there you don’t know And she never asks if we can stop and pee” Yeah, I think that other gal knows best North and south, east and west I hardly pay attention anymore In bed sometimes I hear her voice British Emily, not Australian Joyce And in my dreams we take a little detour Once she told me to turn onto a dirt road But all night long it had just snowed And not even the highway had been plowed I didn’t turn, kept going straight She kept saying “Recalculating - Make a u-turn when allowed” Now sometimes we might disagree All the while she yells at me And nothing I yell back will shut her up I call her a whore, call her a witch I call time out and I flip the switch For some peace and quiet she can’t interrupt Satellite connection dropped So I pulled over and I stopped Spaghetti Junction coming up ahead Been years since I’d last had a map All spread out across my lap I wished it could’ve talked to me instead Ramps to the left, ramps to the right There wasn’t another soul in sight Who wasn’t whizzing by at 75 My teeth were clenched, my knuckles white That’s when we had another big fight And she refused to say which way to drive Now sometimes we might disagree All the while she yells at me And nothing I yell back will shut her up I call her a whore, call her a witch I call time out and I flip the switch For some peace and quiet she can’t interrupt One time when I drove all day Just one road, a long, long way I got caught up in thinking as you do She froze to death, I didn’t know I’d missed my exit hours ago I never even saw her face turn blue I mount her and I turn her on She tells me that I’m her Don Juan In ways only my Emily can do That’s her out there in the car The one who does knows where we are Turns out all she needed was a screw (a Phillips Head) Now sometimes we might disagree All the while she yells at me And nothing I yell back will shut her up I call her a whore, call her a witch I call time out and I flip the switch For some peace and quiet she can’t interrupt “That other woman” says my wife “She’s who you trust with your life You listen to her more than you do me” “It’s true, I do, but she knows the route And she’s the one who has a mute And she came with an extended warranty My British Emily”