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Letters In The Dirt

by Chuck Brodsky

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1.
The war had finally ended and America had changed It had beaten back the nazis but the Jim Crow laws remained There was talk of staging marches & talk of civil rights There was talk about a Negro playing baseball with the Whites He walked into the clubhouse and the card players quit playing Everybody stopped in the middle of whatever they were saying It was just like when the sheriff walks into the saloon He said, “My name is Eddie,” as he looked around the room “This man’s here to play baseball,” the manager said to the team “We’re all gonna have to live with this...aw, that’s not what I mean... You know what I mean” - and they all did...it went without saying The card players looked at their hands and they went on with their playing They ran him off the field before a game in Birmingham one night Made him sit up in the grandstand in the section marked “For Whites” In his Cleveland Buckeyes uniform, it was a new twist on the law The marshals kept their eyes on him and the hecklers ate him raw Eddie Klep, he should’ve run the bases in reverse A White man in the Negro Leagues, that had to be a first He could not ride the same busses, or stay in the same motels He could not eat in the same restaurants, you couldn’t have mixed clientele So while Jackie played for Brooklyn and wore the Dodger Blue Eddie crossed the color line, the one without a queue A White man in the Negro Leagues, might as well have been a Jew Now you mention the name of Eddie Klep and most everyone says, “Who?”
2.
She's Gone 03:15
She’s gone, gone, I let her slip away She was getting restless, there was nothing I could say Except so long, so long, it’s alright, it’s ok I’ll miss you when you’re gone, then I looked the other way And she was gone, gone, she was far too gone To hear me when I called to her, but maybe it was wrong of me To make her stop & turn around for one more last goodbye Didn’t mean to make her sorry, didn’t mean to make her cry At the San Francisco airport, with the baggage all checked in We took one last look at each other and she kissed me again And then we nodded in agreement that this really was the end Shook our heads in disbelief and we fell apart again She was gone, gone, I let her slip away I could’ve run off with her but instead I chose to stay Right here with my true love - held tight to my chest And if I had to choose again I might do the same I guess There’s a warmth here - I take comfort I take solace, to my own self I was true Couldn’t ask her to stay - even a little longer She was going places I’d been to She’s gone, gone, it’s just me and my songs Should’ve seen it coming, should’ve seen it all along But it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright We each did what we had to do, and that makes it alright There’s a warmth here - I take comfort I take solace, to my own self I was true Couldn’t ask her to stay - even a little longer She was going places I’d been to
3.
Bill & Annie 03:39
We stopped for peaches at a little roadside stand Man said his name was Bill, I said “I’m Chuck and this is Annie” He said Annie was the one & only true love of his life They met at his wedding but by then he had a wife It was during the reception in the Spring of ‘64 She, his newlywed’s best friend, followed him out the ballroom door Maybe his ring got smaller, maybe his finger swelled Maybe he’d made a big mistake, and maybe time would tell Bill asked, “Do you feel what I feel?” and Annie said, “I do” Bill was at a loss, wondering now what should he do He did what he had to, he’d just taken a wife She would take good care of him for the rest of her life Bill & Annie fought the urge, they saw each other often She was there in black the day Bill’s wife lay in her coffin By then she’d gotten married, by then she’d moved away She’d asked Bill for his blessings and he’d said it was ok Bill said, “Taste the peaches,” and he cut us each a slice They were a little on the small side, but they sure tasted nice “Do you think I did the right thing?” Bill asked, though I knew he knew So I answered with a question, I asked him, “Bill, do you?” Bill said, “Annie, pleased to meet you, it was nice to meet you Chuck” And Annie & I, we drove away in Annie’s pick-up truck With a box of twenty peaches, a homegrown tomato too And a couple of things to think about, and every now and then I do...I do
4.
I used to be a nice guy - with a capital N You would’ve liked me - I was everybody’s friend But no more...Mr. Nice Guy...no more I tried to be like Gandhi - spreading universal love I’d turn the other cheek - and all that masochistic stuff But no more...Mr. Nice Guy...no more I graduated charm school - I was first in my class But that didn’t quite prepare me - for always finishing last No more...Mr. Nice Guy...me first I used to read Miss Manners - with a notepad by my side People’d walk all over me - I used to let ‘em slide But no more...no more...now I stick my foot out...and I watch ‘em fall I’d stoop to pick up hankies - I’d hold open doors On the elevators - I’d push everybody’s floors But no more...no more...this car’s full I’d say “Yessir,” I’d say “No Sir” - treated people with respect I used to be soft-spoken and politically correct No more...no more...no friggin’ more Hey, I can be a meanie - let me give you some advice Better listen up good - I’m not gonna say this twice No more...no more...aw heck...I said it twice...I’m really sorry Just look at who’s on top - you’ll see, they’re all a bunch of jerks The way they lie and cheat and steal - that’s just how society works No more...Mr. Nice Guy...no more I’d buy drinks for the ladies - they’d all say I was sweet But then someone like Paul Schatzkin would come & sweep ‘em off their feet No more...Mr. Nobody...no more Gonna get me a black leather jacket - a skull and bones tattoo A big old pair of stomping boots - gonna get a nose ring too No more...Mrs. Nice Guy...no more Yeah, I can be a meanie - let me give you some advice Better listen up good - I’m not gonna say this twice No more...uh uh...uh uh uh
5.
Me & you, we never booed Richie Allen - I never understood why people did He hit a homer every time he stepped up to the plate - that’s what I remember as a kid Richie in the field out there by first base - the target of some mighty foul words With his shoes he’d scrawl between the pitched - “B-O-O” in great big letters in the dirt Philly fans, they’ve been known to get nasty When Joe must go, they’ll run him out of town I saw Santa get hit by a snowball And then get hit again when he was down Me & you, we never booed Richie Allen - even if he did sometimes strike out I was too young to read the papers - to know what all that booing was about That big collapse of ‘64 was ugly - they blew a lead of 6 & 1/2 games with 12 to play Some might say their fans were justifiably angry - World Series tickets printed up in vain Philly fans, they’ve been known to get nasty When Joe must go, they’ll run him out of town I saw Santa get hit by a snowball And then get hit again when he was down This was before the days of the million dollar contracts - before the days of the artificial grass He stood a bit outside the lines which made him fair game for those times - Richie Allen never kissed a white man’s ass Me & you, we never booed Richie Allen - we’d pound our mitts & we’d yell, “We want a hit” How could they call a guy a bum after he’d just hit a home run? That didn’t make any sense to a kid Now I’ve since found out all these days later - now I know alot more than I did And if back then you knew, Daddy, why all those other people booed...Thanks for letting me have my heroes as a kid
6.
I was walking outside of City Hall - I slipped & I had a terrible fall It was negligence on the part of I don’t care who I fell so hard I was seeing stars - dollar signs and men from Mars And the man who helped me up said I ought to sue (He was a lawyer...he was all out of breath) Once I had an accident - not too bad, just a little dent A new Mercedes hit me from the rear Man got out in a 3 piece suit & asked if a thousand dollars would do I said, “Well, let me think for a minute here” I’m gonna talk to my lawyer - I might have whiplash I might have trauma - let’s not talk petty cash I’ve got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible Jury jury, hallelujah - you might be liable My Momma said to Uncle Jim, “I just don’t know what’s wrong with him... That son of mine is a no-good big wazoo” Well, I have never overheard such a bunch of slanderous words I’ll tell you Momma, I’ve got a mind to sue I’m gonna talk to my lawyer - Momma, that was vicious Defamation of character - wrongful and malicious I’ve got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible Jury jury, hallelujah - you might be liable I was trying to open up my map - when I spilled some coffee on my lap How was I supposed to know it was going to be hot? I went back to that fast-food place, to the manager with the happy face I said, “I want the name of whoever brewed that pot” I’m gonna talk to my lawyer - I think I’ve got a pretty good case All I need are some crutches - maybe I’ll put on a neck brace I’ve got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible Jury jury, hallelujah - somebody’s liable
7.
She came all the way from Jonestown, she was just a little girl Ended up in California for to make it in this world She left behind believers, they were onto harder stuff Couldn’t get herself to swallow what she knew was in that cup...she knew she knew Her face was soft & tender then - it was warm to the touch You only had to look at her and right away she’d blush She was everybody’s angel - lily white and pure Nobody who knows her now would say that anymore, it just wouldn’t be true She fell in with the hookers and she learned a lot of tricks Like who to see for money, and where to get a fix She can make you happy, if it’s happy that you want She’ll do anything for you, if the money is up front...anything for you That’s her in the doorway - her face is poorly lit You would not see ‘till later - the places she’d been hit One of these days...but today just is not it A john comes up and offers her a hundred and she spits She got herself a hotel room on Broadway two blocks down From the hotel room she uses when she really goes to town It’s not the California that she ran away to find But it’s no worse & no more perverse than the place she left behind...Sweet Little Lou
8.
So suddenly you’re trembling, with a flash flood of tears And a flashback to a night so black, a little girl disappears The pictures are returning, and it’s safe to say you see her You can go now if you have to, if that’s what it takes to free her It’s a tattered old illusion, and faded is the glory Hung up on your father’s flagpole, as you return to the yard Where he touched you as a child, only now you see it clearly And you hate the man who once upon a time you loved so dearly Until you can forgive - but not what’s been done Until you can forgive - the innocent one The little girl...afraid to speak Shadows in the hallway, tears rolling down her cheek It comes to you in nightmares, and in the middle of sweet dreams It robs you of your innocence, and it makes you feel unclean You can damn him if you want to, you can wish upon him death You can trample on his grave, if he is already dead Until you can forgive - but not what’s been done Until you can forgive - the innocent one The little girl...afraid to speak Shadows in the hallway, tears rolling down her cheek Now you back away from danger, is it too close or too real When you lay down with your lover and this trust you don’t yet feel? I will still be here in the morning, I will hold you through the night But I will not whisper in your ear that everything’s gonna be alright Until you can forgive - but not what’s been done Until you can forgive - the innocent one The little girl...afraid to speak Shadows in the hallway, tears rolling down her cheek
9.
There was a knock at the door - after a call on the phone He coming out of the blue - she being home all alone He’d been a long time at sea - it couldn’t help but show She said, “Well, come on in” she said, “Welcome home” He said, “How do you do?” & she said, “Long time no see” He said, “I’ve been thinking about you” & she said, “Oh, you remember me?” He said, “If only you knew...I could never forget” She said, “Oh, but I knew...from the first time we met” It was a late, late night - there came the first crack of dawn And a big burst of light - through those curtains she’d drawn He said, “Hey, I’ve gotta run” & she said, “I understand... Well, it’s sure been fun” - and they both shook hands He ain’t no Romeo - and she’s no Juliet This ain’t no picture show - this ain’t no movie set She doesn’t know her lines - he cannot play his part She cannot read his mind - he cannot find her heart He says, “I’ll find my way” & she says, “I’ll find my way too” But what he really means to say is ”I wish I could stay with you” She doesn’t know what to think - he doesn’t know what to do They say all the wrong things - they keep missing each other’s cues
10.
Well you sure can talk - you go on & on And it makes me wonder - where all the time has gone You don’t hear me sigh - you don’t notice when I yawn We sat down at dinner time - and now it’s almost dawn Make a long story short - look how you’ve bent my ear Around the back of my head - are you that unaware? I’ve been polite all night - some of my thoughts were malicious Like I wish you’d bite your tongue - so hard you’d have to go get stitches Uh huh, oh really? Well you really don’t say! I really wish you wouldn’t - but I’m not listening anyway I’m getting tired of your voice - my ears are pretty well numb Can’t even hear myself think - it’s like electrical hum To make a long story short - you might say I’m perturbed Why don’t you get to the point - why don’t you skip a few words? Why don’t you take a deep breath - why don’t you cut to the chase? To make a long story short - why don’t you shut your face? And did you ever wonder why - I never seem to be home No matter when you try - reaching me on the phone? Thank God for answering machines - they are the answer for you The way they cut you off - after a minute or two I do return your calls - but I’ve got my timing down I call when you’re at work - or when you’re out of town We play telephone tag - and every time you’re “it” And I hear my telephone ring - I back away from it So make a long story short - you long-winded one How long, how long - will this sentence run? All you talk about is yourself - and everything you’ve ever done Make a long story short - you long-winded one
11.
The hands of Victor Jara Were chopped off at the wrists But still they point a finger And they raise a mighty fist There is a revolution It might be in your backyard It might be some place like Chile Or it might be in your heart The voice of Victor Jara Was cut out at the tongue But that does not stop the singing Songs need to be sung He sang about his people They were not the privileged few And nothing that’s dictated Will ever ring as true The blood of Victor Jara Will never wash away It just keeps on turning A little redder every day As anger turns to hatred And hatred turns to guns Children lose their fathers And mothers lose their sons The soul of Victor Jara Hangs on a white cross Life was his religion Not for sale at any cost He defied the generals’ orders By not singing their refrain In front of all those frightened people He did not give his life in vain The hands of Victor Jara They’re strumming the guitar Down in the Paris Metro Or in front of the Kerr-try Store And they hold onto a promise That torture cannot break Truer than the average, the hands of Victor Jara They do not shake
12.
The Goodbye Kid checks his watch The hour is late and the night is hot He wipes the sweat from off his brow “What time is it?” you ask, and he says, “Now” The Goodbye Kid - on his arm is a coat In case it gets cold, and he clears his throat The speech he’d prepared - you were expecting to hear But then he whispers, “I love you” in your ear “I can’t leave without these” - he reaches under your chair And picks up his keys - says, “I don’t know how they got there... And how I wish I could stay - at least another day more” Says the Goodbye Kid with one foot out the door The Goodbye Kid - he’s been around the block Looking for a parking place - couldn’t find a spot That’s him out there - with the hazards on The Goodbye Kid, and he can’t stay long Did you get too close to the Goodbye Kid? Did he leave too soon? Or was it you who did? Did you take your heart back behind closed doors And listen ‘till you couldn’t hear the sound of his engine anymore The Goodbye Kid checks his map Inside his head that’s upon your lap He holds your hand while he plans his route Those places & those dates are so absolute The Goodbye Kid - he’s a one man band Towns a nobody goes - he does a one night stand A hundred nights in a row - they always end like this They even start sometimes with a goodbye kiss The Goodbye Kid - he’s thinking of you And you say, “Sure...and all those other girls too... So where ya’ calling from?” - He says a Texaco The Goodbye Kid calling to say hello The Goodbye Kid - he leaves a rose A little bud with its petals still closed “Would you tend to it - and see that it lives?” Reads the little card signed by the Goodbye Kid Did you get too close to the Goodbye Kid? Did he leave too soon? Or was it you who did? Did you take your heart back behind closed doors And listen ‘till you couldn’t hear the sound of his engine anymore The Goodbye Kid...checks his watch

about

Recorded at Nickel & Dime Studios, Decatur GA
Produced by Kristian Bush & Don McCollister
Engineered by Don McCollister

credits

released February 1, 1996

Chuck Brodsky - guitar, vocal
Brandon Bush - Wurlitzer, Hammond B3
Dave Anthony - drums
Jenny Hirsch - upright bass
Andrew Hyra - wailing on Hands of Victor Jara
Gina Forsyth - fiddle
J. Michael Cobb - tuba
David Hamburger - dobro
David Wilcox - electric guitar, acoustic bass
Annie Gallup - harmony vocal
Nance Pettit - harmony vocals

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Chuck Brodsky Asheville, North Carolina

See bio at www.chuckbrodsky.com/bio. If you'd like to support me further, you can do so through my paypal address - chuck@chuckbrodsky.com. Thanks.

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